Our regular column, 'Psychologist's Tips'

07.03.2024 10:23

Tips from a psychologist: How to avoid feeling guilty if you can't spend much time with your child? 

Many modern women face the challenge of balancing work and family life. Due to the pressure to succeed in all areas, it can be complicated to dedicate enough time to their children. It often leads to a sense of guilt and mental anguish, which can negatively impact their lives. How can one avoid feeling guilty when they are unable to spend a lot of time with their child? We consulted school psychologist, Anastasia Andreevna Novoselova, to find the answer to this question.

The age of a child plays a crucial role in determining the appropriate course of action. It is recommended that mothers stay close to their children until they are three years old. After the age of three, children can be enrolled in kindergarten to promote their socialization. Enrolling children in kindergarten at an earlier age may cause them to feel less secure. However, delaying enrollment beyond the age of three can also have negative consequences. Therefore, it is important to strike a balance and give children the opportunity to socialize during their preschool years.

Let's discuss the matter of guilt. Everyone has his responsibilities and work to do. When it comes to interacting with school-aged children, we can start a lovely tradition of having an evening tea party. It is not a dinner, but rather a gathering an hour and a half before bedtime for tea, sweets, and biscuits. The whole family can participate, and the atmosphere can be cosy with dim lighting. During this time, everyone can share their experiences, emotions, and thoughts from the day. It is an opportunity to discuss what worked, what didn't, what needs improvement, and make plans for the future. Additionally, the tenderness and care that we show our children in the morning before school (kissing, hugging, expressing love, and wishing them a good day) and when they return home, combined with the evening tea party, should be enough to alleviate any feelings of guilt. After all, only half an hour is needed every day, and we can spend the remaining time teaching our children to be independent.

As parents, we can't always be there for our children, guiding them and talking to them. They have their own lives to lead, friends to hang out with, and activities to pursue. However, we should make an effort to find time to socialize with them and be available when they need our help.

It's not the amount of time spent together that matters, but the quality of that time. Make sure to prioritize emotional closeness with your children!

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